I’m afraid I’m easy to forget.
My childhood was full of reading; I’d lose myself in stories: melodramas mostly, in which everything happened in a wild-eyed romanticism. I longed to live in that world and was forced to view it in utter contrast with the reality I was experiencing. I thought all that was awful because in my novels there was nothing but silk pillows and white-lacquered furniture. I’d have liked to do everything in white lacquer. Reality made me miserable, it humiliated me. I broke off bits of wood wherever I could, thinking, what old trash is this! I did it out of sheer wickedness, for the sake of destruction of what seemed to resemble the life I was living back then. I wanted to kill myself.
Gabrielle “Coco” Chanel, Coco Chanel: The Legend And The Life
Everyone’s just looking for reasons to wake up and get out of bed, some do it for nothing but a kiss, perhaps a cup of coffee, others have a harder time; no train to catch, no hand to hold, no reasons at all.
The true purpose of Zen is to see things as they are, to observe things as they are, and to let everything go as it goes. Zen practice is to open up our small mind.
every single person you know has something in their life and past that is probably worth collapsing to the ground in an uncontrollably sobbing heap over, so be nice to each other and tell good jokes
So yes, you’re fine just the way you are. There’s nothing wrong with how you act, or what you wear, or who your friends are. But if you want to try something new, there’s nothing wrong with that either. It doesn’t mean you have a bad self esteem or you’re not grateful for what you have. I’ve tried to change many things about myself, but it doesn’t mean I love myself any less than I ever did. In fact, I think it’s made me appreciate myself even more. I’m walking around, feeling like a completely exclusive piece of art that I created on my own.